


a) Single b) Interested

by Nigellica



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Avengers, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky needs a fake boyfriend, Bucky's friends are arseholes, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Meetings, He chooses Steve, He knows how to play along, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied Relationships, M/M, Meet-Cute, More like meet-weird, Natasha enjoys Bucky's pain, Steve does undercover work, Steve is a detective, Steve is a tease, Stucky - Freeform, loki isn't a dick, or not as big a dick, steve is a shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:38:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7290700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigellica/pseuds/Nigellica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's friends want to meet his boyfriend... who doesn't exist. That's where random bar patrons come in, Bucky does his research... just probably not well enough.</p><p>But Steve is having a GREAT TIME.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a) Single b) Interested

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea and it just kind of happened. This is my first foray into Stucky but I have been in a black hole of Stucky stories ever since Civil War so sorry not sorry. Also I'm Aussie so there's probably some Aussie-isms in there that I haven't noticed, I don't know what's slang and what isn't anymore.
> 
> Rated M for bad language. Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> I do not own any of the characters or anything really (except the mistakes).

“-I walk in and Steve is flicking through the channels while his phone is sitting against his laptop speakers playing achy breaky heart on a loop. I looked at the screen and it says the call has been going for over a goddamn hour,” Sam bursts out laughing at his own story and Steve just shrugs.

“What was I supposed to do? He tried to tell me my ‘home computer’ had a virus, we literally just moved in, the internet isn’t even connected yet!” Steve defended.

“Normal people just hang up,” Clint snorted as he traced a finger through the condensation on his beer glass.

“I don’t know what is more alarming, the fact that he stayed on the line for over an hour or that you have achy breaky heart on your computer,” Peggy said raising an eyebrow in Steve’s direction.

Clint choked on his beer, “Hey yeah, no internet means you actually have the song, what other crappy music you got Steve? Please tell me there’s no Bieber.”

Steve’s face reddened slightly, “Hey! Achy breaky heart is a party classic, you gotta have some daggy shit in your collection.”

“Mhmm right lads, my round, same again?” Peggy asked climbing off the stool ready to make her way to the bar.

“Yeah thanks Peggy,” Sam answered for the group, draining the last of his beer.

Before she could leave a slightly frantic looking guy in a black henley and dark jeans walked over, brushing his shoulder length brunette hair behind one ear, “Alright, who here is a, single and b, interested in guys?”

There was a pause and the four friends looked at each other, “Come on folks, hands up please.”

They stared for a moment and slowly Steve, Clint and Peggy all raised a hand, “Sweet, looks like I came to the right table, okay Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark and Loki Odinson, does anyone know any of the aforementioned arseholes?”

Peggy and Sam raised their hands, “I used to work with Tony’s father Howard, they both flirted relentlessly,” Peggy informed him.

The stranger snorted and Sam smirked, “I slept with Loki years ago,” they all looked at him surprised, “What? Dude’s hot.”

The brunette looked at him curiously, “So not single or not into dudes? Wait, no, irrelevant,” he stared intensely at Clint who raised an eyebrow and winked at him, “Hmm too flirty, not believable.”

He moved his attention to Steve whose cheeks tinted pink at the grey eyes focused on his, “Sincere, you’ll do.”

He pulled Steve to his feet and waved to the other three, “Nice to meet you all, I’m Bucky.”

“Alright, so I’m Bucky and I need a fake boyfriend for the night because my friends are arseholes. I’ll pay for any drinks or food or anything just please help a guy out,” Bucky explained. 

He laced his fingers through Steve’s and pulled him to a booth in the corner of the bar with a beautiful red haired woman, a man with some weirdarse facial hair who was wearing sunglasses INDOORS, and delicate looking man with long dark hair and piercing blue eyes.

Bucky slid into the booth and pulled Steve with him, “Alright fine you jerks, make me drag him away from his friends why dontcha? This is my boyfriend-”

“Steve,” the blonde broke in smoothly, just as Bucky realised he hadn’t even asked for a name, Steve held out a hand to shake each of theirs, “You must be Natasha, Tony and Loki.”

Bucky looked surprised and Steve smirked at him, he couldn’t imagine the delicate looking male flirting relentlessly with Peggy, but he could definitely see him hooking up with Sam.

“So what’s James told you about us?” Natasha raised an eyebrow, glancing at Bucky.

“Well he told me you’re all arseholes,” Steve smiled innocently at her.

Her lips twitched and Tony burst out laughing, even Loki grinned hugely at Bucky, “Oh Barnes, you didn’t tell me he was FUN.”

“You didn’t tell us much of anything,” Loki added with a smirk.

“Yeah well I didn’t want Tony hacking into shit to research him,” Bucky scowled at the man.

“That was ONE time,” Tony rolled his eyes, “And really he should have told you about the whole herpes thing.”

“You put him on the FBI watchlist!”

“He was all wrong for you. Anyway, now you have Steve, things worked out fine,” Tony clinked his glass against Bucky’s before he could pull it away.

Steve snorted, “Geez, well I’m not giving you my last name, address or place of work now, no offence. And if I get arrested Buck I’m using my phone call to hurl abuse at you, just so you know,” he bumped his shoulder against his ‘boyfriend’s’.

The brunette’s lips twitched and he tried not to smile, “And mine will be to Tony to do the same thing.”

“Good, glad you plan to avenge me when the FBI comes,” Steve told him dryly.

“Well what can I say? I’m a real gentleman,” Bucky replied with a smirk.

“Huh, you weren’t the first time we met,” he raised a pointed eyebrow at the other man and Natasha leaned forward.

“Oh really? How exactly did you meet?” she asked gleefully staring at Bucky’s slightly panicked face.

Steve snorted and took Bucky’s hand in his once again, placing a kiss against the back of it, “I was just innocently sitting in the bar with my friends and this guy comes over and propositions ALL of us like he can’t pick just one, I thought he was trying to recruit for a threesome to start with,” he explained, eyes twinkling as Bucky dropped his face into his hands without letting go of Steve’s.

“Oh my god, you never told me that!” the brunette groaned while his three friends cracked up with laughter.

“Such a touchingly romantic tale Barnes, however did you recover from THAT first impression?” Loki asked sipping his wine.

“Hey what do you mean recover? I’m smooth as fuck Odinson, Steve was-”

“Drunk,” Steve supplied with a smirk, “Very, very drunk, and Mr Handsy over here finally managed to separate me from the pack and make his intentions quite clear,” he teased.

“Yeah well you said okay,” Bucky defended.

The blonde shook his head, “Uh-uh, if you’ll recall Buck, I just never said no.”

The brunette looked affronted and his friends grinned, “Hey I-”

“I’m kidding Buck geez, don’t get so defensive,” Steve bumped him with his shoulder again.

Natasha smirked and pointed at Steve, “You, are my new favourite person.”

“Wow and you said we’re the arseholes,” Tony pouted, “Your boy is just as big an arsehole as any of us.”

“Nobody is as big an arsehole as you Stark,” Loki informed him dryly.

“That’s not what you were saying last night Dark Shadows,” the other man purred at him.

“Mhmm and if you don’t quit it with the movie nicknames I won’t be saying anything tonight,” Loki murmured, trailing fingers up his arm, over his shoulder, only to flick him in the ear.

He smiled smugly when the other man yelped, winking in Steve’s direction. 

“So, what do you do Steve? James was rather sketchy on the details,” Natasha interrupted, fixing Bucky with a look.

“Oh was he now?” Steve asked, lips twitching as he watched Bucky’s face, “I’m a police detective, so being on the FBI watchlist would be especially awkward. But I’m pretty good at undercover work,” he added flirtily, enjoying the expressions that flickered over Bucky’s face as he understood the double meaning.

His face was bright red as he dropped his face into his hands once again, “Well how was I supposed to know the table of hot people were all detectives?!”

Steve laughed outright, “To be fair, Peggy is a consultant,” he smirked, “After her work with Stark technologies she’s been invaluable with cyber help.”

The blonde turned his smirk to Tony instead whose eyes widened, “Oh god, not Peggy CARTER?”

Loki raised an eyebrow, “Mhmm,” Steve replied, “She had some interesting things to say about you.”

Tony cleared his throat and Natasha just looked delighted, “Hey that was long before we were together, and she turned me down.”

“Turned your Dad down too,” Steve murmured through twitching lips and Natasha’s grin just got wider.

Stark’s eyes widened in shock, “What?! He never told me that!”

Loki playfully punched him in the shoulder, “It could be worse Stark, she could have only turned you down.”

Steve took a casual sip of Bucky’s beer, “Oh and Loki, my buddy Sam Wilson says hi.”

Loki’s eyes widened comically, “Jesus Steve did you do background checks on us?”

The blonde snorted, “Nope, just a happy coincidence,” he drank the rest of the beer before the brunette finally noticed.

“Oi! That’s my beer,” Bucky complained, snatching the empty glass from Steve.

He simply raised an eyebrow, “Mhmm and who dragged me away from my friends before I could grab another drink?”

Bucky pouted and the blonde simply leant in to plant a light kiss on his pouting lips, “Well you promised me a drink, go on,” he tried to tug the other man to slide across his lap but Bucky sat there, frozen.

It took a moment before he managed to clear his throat, “Oh no, if you think I’m leaving you alone with these arseholes you have another thing coming,” Bucky informed him, folding his arms across his chest, “We’re one more revelation away from an episode of Jerry Springer.”

A slow, shit-eating grin crossed Steve’s face and he licked his lips with great relish, leaned forward to rest his forearms on the table and said, “So Loki, how is your brother these days?”

Bucky groaned and let his head drop back against the booth and Natasha looked like christmas had come early, “Favourite. Person.”

Tony threw his hands up, “I’m done, I quit, I’m going to buy drinks,” he stood and headed for the bar while Loki and Natasha laughed uproariously.

When he could talk again Loki asked, “So do you actually know my brother or was that just to mess with Barnes?”

Steve grinned, “I actually used to play basketball with Thor on weekends, just mess around games you know? Until I did my knee a few months back, I haven’t been back since but I keep meaning to.”

“Ohhh, you’re THAT Steve,” Loki smiled in recognition, “‘A WORTHY OPPONENT BROUGHT LOW WHEN HE TRIPPED OVER CLINT’S DOG’,” he boomed in a fair approximation of his brother’s excited exclamations.

Steve laughed, “Oh my god you sound just like him! He could have at least made up a more impressive story though,” he tried to pout but couldn’t keep a straight face.

Bucky just watched the blonde interacting with his friends with a fond smile, how the fuck did this happen? How the fuck did he manage to find the one guy in this bar with a connection to nearly every one of his-

“Oh shit,” Steve raised an eyebrow at Bucky’s sudden cursing, “Nat don’t tell me Steve was ‘the hot blonde with the most amazing arms’ who pulled you over and told you to ‘blow on this’?” he asked warily.

She laughed and grinned, “Oh I wish James, no, he said his name was Detective Barton.”

Steve choked and started coughing, and Loki looked quizzical, “I didn’t think detectives would be pulling random people over?”

Bucky patted the blonde on the back until he could manage words once again, “Our boss puts Clint on traffic duty when he’s being annoying, Clint Barton.”

“Of fucking course,” Bucky grumbled and Steve shot him a winning smile.

“Oh come on babe, don’t be like that,” the blonde patted his thigh comfortingly, “I’m a people person.”

“Well that makes one of you,” Natasha commented dryly.

“Hey I-”

“Drinks!” Tony declared, reappearing with a tray full of fruity looking drinks with straws, umbrellas, a chunk of pineapple and even a cherry on top.

Bucky just glanced down at the drink put in front of him and raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘really?’ Steve nudged him with his shoulder, “Geez Buck, rude much? The man bought you a drink without trying to get into your pants, you could at least say thank you. Thanks Tony.”

“Now, see, finally someone around here has some goddamned manners,” Tony said, pretending to flick his hair, “You’re welcome Steve.”

“What the shit is this Stark?” Natasha asked, removing the umbrella with extreme prejudice.

“That, my dear Romanoff, is a pina colada,” Tony sniffed as if offended, “Its tasty and alcoholic, just drink it. Honestly, I don’t know why I bother sometimes.”

“I don’t know why you bother ever,” Bucky replied darkly, staring suspiciously at the drink.

Steve slapped him across the back of the head with his left hand and picked up the drink his right, “James Barnes, drink the damned drink.”

Loki smirked and lifted his own glass to clink against Steve’s before they both sipped their drinks… and Steve straight out moaned. Bucky’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned pink, he wordlessly slid his own drink over to the blonde and the other three laughed

“Geez Barnes, keep it in your pants would ya?” Natasha teased, “No boning Steve in the bar.”

The brunette choked but Steve just grinned and ran his hand up Bucky’s thigh, turning to lean into him, “Nu-uh Buck, you gotta try this, it’s just beautiful,” he licked his lips and leant closer and closer… only hold his drink up to the other man’s lips, blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

Bucky groaned, “Dammit Stevie you’re killin’ me here,” Steve just pressed the straw insistently against his lips and the brunette took an obedient sip, eyes fixed firmly on the blonde’s.

“Okay fine, it is good,” Bucky relented and Steve swooped in to place a quick kiss against his lips.

“Toldja so,” he said smugly and Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, shaddap,” he grumbled good naturedly.

“Oh my god…. Should we just leave you two alone? I would like to point out that Stark tower has many luxurious and available guest rooms you’re welcome to use and JARVIS will happily let you in Barnes,” Tony informed them, his tone turned slightly accusatory, “In fact for an AI I created JARVIS seems to like you better than me.”

“That’s because I’m more likeable than you Stark,” Bucky shrugged and sipped his own drink with a smirk.

Steve nudged him with a shoulder and the brunette frowned in his direction, “What? I am.”

“Mhmm,” Steve rumbled teasingly around his straw as he sipped his own cocktail.

Loki poked his boyfriend in the cheek, “Don’t be jealous Stark, I for one think they make an adorable pair. If you do decide to come to the tower I’d stay away from Tony’s quarters, I’m quite vocal,” he smirked.

“O-kay, more than I needed to know. Time to go?” Bucky asked Steve, “Time to go.”

He tried to stand in the awkward booth space and Steve just rolled his eyes pushed the brunette back down with a hand across his chest, “Down boy, there’s nothing wrong with vocal lovemaking. Oh and just so you know, Riley’s working tonight so Sam will be home, so if you’re coming over its SLEEPING only.”

Bucky’s cheeks slowing tinted pink and he wondered not for the first time that night if he’d somehow walked into an alternate universe where he and Steve actually WERE dating.

“Hey Steve, Bucky,” Clint said with a little wave as he wandered over, swaying slightly, “Me, Sam and Peg are gonna head off, were you coming or?”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and kissed the back of it once again, “Nah I’m good Clint, I’m having way too much fun,” he smirked, looking over to wink at Natasha who was admiring the other blonde’s arms.

“Holy shit! You’re the hot redhead I pulled over,” Clint blinked at her and she smirked.

“Clint, these are Bucky’s friends, Natasha, Loki and Tony, guys this is my friend Clint Barton,” Steve introduced, eyes turning slightly devilish, “And of course you know my boyfriend Bucky.”

Clint stared at him for a moment then shoved his shoulder, “Budge up for a sec wouldja? Nice to meet you all, and hey Bucky, if you’re still up for that threesome I’m in, we can just put a bag over Steve’s head and it’ll be fun.”

The brunette groaned and glared at Steve as he just pressed closer to Bucky so Clint could fit, “What? Don’t blame me for your actions.”

“I was NOT trying to recruit for a threesome,” he growled, sipping his cocktail as darkly as one can sip a drink with a pink umbrella, “And if anyone’s wearing a bag it’s you Barton.”

In one smooth move Steve managed to slip his own arm around Bucky’s waist and shrug the other man’s arm up to rest around his shoulders, “You’re just very direct,” the blonde consoled him.

“Hey man, that’s a good thing, Steve is thick as when it comes to figuring out someone is attracted to him. This one time we were undercover for this thing I can’t tell you about but anyway, our contact was flirting hardcore the whole time and Steve had NO CLUE. Afterwards when I asked why he didn’t just go for it the big idiot frowned and said ‘I’m pretty sure he was straight Clint’,” Clint snorted and ruffled the other blonde’s hair, “And my face is sexy as Barnes, you wish you could get a piece of this.”

Natasha grinned hugely and pointed at Clint, “You, are my new favourite person.”

“Oh really? Want to have sex?” Clint asked to choking sounds from the rest of the table.

The redhead smirked and shimmied to stand on the seating and held her hand out to Clint, which he instantly grabbed so she could walk gracefully over the table to jump catlike onto the floor.

“Steve it was lovely to meet you, have a wonderful night boys,” Natasha purred and slid her arm through Clint’s.

“Night fellas, night Steve,” Clint grinned, turning back briefly to give the table an exuberant thumbs up before the pair walked out together.

The four stared after them, “Huh… I did NOT see that coming,” Loki said, blinking after the pair.

“Yeah I gotta say, not how I was expecting this night to go,” Bucky agreed, his arm hadn’t moved from its position around Steve’s shoulders.

The blonde squeezed him and smiled, “Better than you expected?”

“Absolutely, you’re a complete arsehole Steve,” Bucky grinned, placing a kiss against his temple.

“Must be why we get along, jerk,” Steve grinned and Bucky glanced at his lips, the blonde gave the slightest of nods and Bucky leaned in this time to kiss Steve, their lips pressing together slightly less chastely than Steve’s earlier kisses.

Loki’s straw slurped at the bottom of his glass and they pulled apart regretfully, “Well I think that means it’s time to call it a night, my glass is empty and so am I,” he said dryly, “Come on Stark, let’s see if we can’t solve one of those problems. Nice to meet you Steve, have a good night and you’re welcome at the tower if you like.”

Tony grinned and stood, pulling Loki smoothly with him, “This was fun, bring him to more things Barnes or I’ll put YOU on the FBI’s list instead.”

They both watched as the two walked away, Tony’s hand sliding lower and lower as they disappeared into the crowd.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other, neither moving their arms from around the other, “So… you’re a detective huh?”

Steve laughed and grinned, “Yep, and what exactly do you do James Bucky Barnes?”

“James Buchanan Barnes actually, but you’re pretty observant aren’t you?” he raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

“Detective,” he reminded him.

“I’m a lawyer,” Bucky informed him and Steve pulled away with a frown, “What?”

Steve sighed, “I wish I’d known that before we started dating,” he said solemnly.

He managed to keep the serious expression as shock flitted across Bucky’s face, “Hey!”

Steve grinned, and waited.

“Wait, so does that mean we’re dating?” Bucky realised.

“Well I guess we could if you wanted to, I mean I am a, single and b, interested in guys,” Steve teased, running his hand down the other man’s thigh, “Although I’m probably more interested in a twosome than a threesome at this particular moment.”

The brunette groaned and closed his eyes, “Dammit Steve you’re killin’ me here.”

Steve snorted and rolled his eyes, “Alright, how about I make this real simple, want to go have sex at Stark Tower? I hear there’s guest rooms available if you know anyone who can get us in.”

Bucky stared for a moment and stood, “Yeah I know a guy.”

Steve’s answering smile was blinding.


End file.
